Nothing sucks more than post breakup depression. Yup even more than the actual act of breaking up. Have you ever wondered why it takes forever to get over your most recent relationship? Why are you not able to move on? Most of us have been there so it’s hard not to ask yourself these questions.
Regardless if it’s a long or short term relationship it’s still hard on the ego once they go south. When we go into a relationship we have positive expectation of succeeding, not failing. So when they do fail we feel it reflects as personal failure.
I was pleasantly shocked to read an article in the Wall Street Journal that says it takes two years to recover from a break up of a serious relationship (ha! Who said WSJ is only good for business related articles???). It can take even longer if the person was blindsided. So if you’re reading this while you’re still trying to make sense of things you’re perfectly normal.
So why does it take so long to recover post breakup? To sum it up: There are two steps to getting over a break up: grieving and rebuilding your life.
An expert quoted in this article says to not make big changes in your life but I don’t completely agree. I think in order to start moving forward from post break up depression and rebuilding your life you need to change things up. A relationship establishes routines so when it ends it becomes of hard to move on because those routines have suddenly stopped. Successfully moving on from a break up is about building new routines. I personally found the more I changed up my life after a breakup the easier it was to move on because things are so different now.
For some people an end of a relationship is just as difficult as having a loved one die. Sound extreme? Not completely because often times when your relationship ends your former partner disappears completely from your life. Although with social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter it’s easier to keep tabs on a former lover which isn’t helpful.
From my personal experience the best way to get over post breakup depression is to lean on your friends. I’ve been lucky, I’ve have some great friends that have dropped everything to hangout with me after a recent breakup. And I’ve done the same from them. Since you’re going through a difficult time it is common to replay the events over and over again to your friends but for the sanity of your friends try to lean on different people so you aren’t driving them crazy with your replays.
I know right now you’re going through a difficult time and it’s hard to see the light in the tunnel but TRUST ME things will get better. Wouldn’t you want a relationship that isn’t going to last end now so you can stop investing all your precious time and energy? Wouldn’t you rather find some that wants to go that extra mile with you?
When my first serious relationship ended I couldn’t sleep or eat. I felt like a piece of me was missing, like a part of me died during my post breakup depression. But I found myself again and you will do and when you look back you’ll wonder why you cared so much.