I compiled a list of what I consider are the tips to a successful relationship. We experience in our 20s our first serious adult relationship. If you’re in your later 20s, what you look for in a partner has evolved (I’m hoping). But how do you know if the person you’re with now, as perfect or unperfect things are, will go the distance?
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I found over the years there’s one important factor that is often over looked in relationship advice. This is…. How is your relationship set up? Although comparing your relationship with your friends’ relationships is a good idea because it gives you a guide line as to what is normal and what is totally unacceptable, it’s also not fair to your partner. What you want out of a relationship won’t be the same thing your best friend does whether you realize that or not.
For example, I’m more of free spirit and have an unconventional way of thinking. I enjoy spending time with my boyfriend but I also like doing separate hobbies and taking the odd vacation with my girls. I have friends that completely disappear the first year they have a new boyfriend and won’t leave their man’s side. I also have friends that are way more independent from their partners. Neither way is right or wrong it’s how you set up things in the beginning. This is usually done unconsciously and has a lot to do with who you choose to date.
Ask yourself before you continue reading- are you a more traditional couple or an independent couple? Are you an independent girl that likes to pick up the tab once in a while or are you the type of guy that likes to spoil his princess? Is this what you want?
Now that we have that out of the way let’s focus on the tips to a successful relationship.
Tips to a Successful Relationship:
1. Do you really respect one another? Ask yourself do you listen when you talk to each other? Do you and your partner have each other’s back? Does your partner defend you in front of others? Will you drop everything if your partner had an emergency?
2. Be the first to say “I’m sorry” but don’t be a doormat. When arguing with your boyfriend or girlfriend, the person you supposedly love, don’t argue to win. Agree to disagree and move on. Moreover…
3. Do you fight fair? When fighting with your significant other do you remember that you love them? Stay away from pushing their buttons by bringing up their insecurities or bringing up the past. Don’t say something you’ll regret later.
4. Don’t fight over the same thing over and over again. Be prepared to live with the issue or walk away. Don’t drive yourself crazy. For example, you cannot expect your partner to quit smoking if you knew he/she was a smoker from the get go.
These next ones are great especially if you’re living with your partner.
5. Don’t make a big deal over everything, bring up things that are only relationship deal breakers (i.e. stuff you’re willing to break up over) because no one is perfect.
6. Opposite attract because they keep things exciting but make sure your opposite has the same values as you. Values have a lot to do with wanting the same things in life long-term.
7. The way you and your partner value money has a lot to do with the long-term success of a relationship. Since money is the number one thing that breaks up couple are you both savers or spenders? This will make your life a lot easier.
8. Do you allow and encourage each other to grow individually and together? In your 20s you change so much as a person because you’re transitioning from a child to an adult. It’s important that you’re with someone who grows with you.
To finish tips to a successful relationship there’s one key factor that will trump all the keys above when predicting if your relationship will go the distance. The key to a successful relationship is timing NOT compatibility. In other words wanting the same things at the same time. I’m sure we all know of a few couples in our lives that we are surprised they ended up together yet seem so happy.
Although your parents might have gotten married in their late teens or early twenties it is less common today. Why? Young people are living at home longer, taking longer to start their careers and waiting until they’re financially stable before starting their family. I’m willing to bet that the person you are in your early 20s is not going to be the same person you are going to be by your late 20s or early 30s. It’s no wonder today’s generation is getting married later in life.