The Frienemies: Co-Existing with a Toxic Friends

Frienemies are not only toxic friendships, they also try to sabotage your success.  People like these in your life may build you up only to push you back down.  These so-called friends are often very unsupportive of your goals and jealous of your success.  Frienemies sucks your energy out, puts down your achievements and probably talks a lot of sh*t behind your back.  So why on earth are you still friends with them?

A Frienemie relationship usually starts off great.  In the honeymoon period this type of friend might even try to win you over with gifts and cool invites.  However, over time once this person has won you over I have found the more I get to know them the more toxic this person is.  Almost as instantly as they won me over, I quickly find myself backpedaling my way out of this relationship. 

"With a friend like this, who needs enemies???"

This awesome picture is courtesy of

It’s not always possible to get these people out of your life permanently and from my experience I realize this isn’t always an option.  A Frienemie could be a co-worker that you have to work with on a daily basis, a family friend of your parents or someone firmly grounded in your circle of friends.  Maybe they’re great people to have casual conversations with but the secret to having a relationship with them is not to let them too close into your personal life.

How They Suck You Dry

Smother you to death- always wanting to hang out with you or call you for their own selfish needs.  They try to isolate you from your other friends so they can have you all to themselves.  And when you need them?  They too busy for you or disappear all together.  Warning sign: They don’t have a lot of close friends and those they do have, they go through them quickly.

They criticize your goals or steps you’re taking to better yourself.  They’re jealous of your success and may go even as far to alienate you from the rest of group of friends.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that good friends are supportive of each other regardless how much they have in common.  Warn sign:  You never feel good after you talk to them or spend time with them and you find yourself less likely to share your goals with them.

They aren’t a good friend to you or anyone else in your circle.  They use you for rides to places and borrow your things without returning them.  They in general don’t respect you.  They sh*t about mutual friends behind their backs.  Chances are they’re doing the same thing to you… if not yet, they will.  Warn sign:  Every time you talk to them it is to talk about criticizing other people.  They create a lot of negative energy in your life.


haha thanks for this one

Getting Rid of Toxic Friends

The game changing advice came from watching an episode of Dr. Phil on how to deal with people.  He stated : “You Teach People How to Treat You”.  Words to live by.

You are the author of your own happiness and it shouldn’t be dependent on someone else.  This advice should be practiced by all supposed friends- you are not responsible for their happiness, nor are you a therapist.  It’s great to lend an ear when someone as a problem but it should never be over bearing on your end.

Set some parameters with your energy sucking Frienemies.  You don’t have to say yes to every social event, nor to you always have to answer the phone every time it rings.  If you already designated the time to study of a course you’re taking or work on a side business you’re starting and you know if you answer that phone call that’s an at least an hour investment while listen to your friend chat way.  Simply return their call or sent them a text later in the day.

Get involved in hobbies that interest you and join new groups to meet new people.  Keep yourself busy with things you enjoy which will keep you busy.  Although this won’t prevent your Frienemie from joining it will at least dilute the interaction.  Besides these types of people tend to pry on those who are less busy.

Hope you enjoyed my Frienemies Survival Guide.  Don’t let this immature behaviour stop you from working towards your goals.  You deserve to surround yourself with positive people.

Forget the Frienemies!  Click here to learn how to attract meaningful relationships.